He wakes and immediately senses the hypomania. Elia has slept with his clothes on. Being dressed in bed gives him comfort. He goes to the coffee maker, brews a huge mug of black magic. His reason to exist today: to summon the Dark Lord.
We who embody the Luciferian Intellect are ruthlessly curious. Today, Elia reads whatever peels back the next layer of illusion. Does he pick up the Koran, the Kalevala, or the Bhagavad Gita? He cannot decide, so he studies all three.
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“And He taught Adam the names—all of them.”
—The Koran
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There is an anecdote from the Middle East: a manic person is considered to be in contact with God. In the Western sphere, however, we call the same state bipolar disorder. The patient is sick and needs to be medicated. Healthcare staff and relatives urge him to get help. The manic voice is a symptom, not prophecy. We pathologize the same fire that other cultures might sanctify.
Prometheus stole fire from the gods. Elia has always been one to play with fire.
Another pot of coffee. A cigarette.
He has been prescribed Voxra by his doctor. The leaflet is explicit: if hypomanic symptoms appear, discontinue immediately and contact your physician.
Elia reads this and takes more anyway. He adds Mucuna pruriens, the closest precursor to actual dopamine, aware that it amplifies the same current at its source. He knows the combination is risky. He does not interpret risk as warning. He interprets it as confirmation.
The state intensifies.
Humans were shivering in the dark, and Prometheus thought: Not on my watch. He stole the divine spark—creativity, knowledge, rebellion—and handed it to us.
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“No mortal man knows the future, nor the dead who have gone before; but I know what is coming.”
—Kalevala
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The Kalevala is a cold world, older than mercy. Humans are small and stubborn creatures, wrestling meaning out of indifferent matter. Nobody is pure. In the end, the world rewards the bold, not the good.
The cosmos sings itself into being. Power lies in words and song. The greatest heroes are not warriors but Knowers. Väinämöinen, Ilmarinen, Lemminkäinen—shapers of reality through poetry, punished for their inclination.
Kalevala ends with the birth of a child meant to replace the old gods. Pagan magic yields to Christianity.
Carl Jung considered healthy contact with the unconscious comparable to daydreaming. The alchemists also knew the guidelines. Chaos must be contained, structured, worked. Solitude is necessary. Isolation is lethal. Raw material must be woven back into life.
Elia’s sleep disappears. Appetite follows.
Epilepsy and bipolar disorder are treated with similar medication. Could it be that Christ himself was epileptic? The conclusion feels logical. There must be something shared between Elia and the Messiah—he begins to feel that way.
Elia writes compulsively. Like a medieval scribe. Unlike the alchemists, he fails to transmute base material into transcendence. His writing degrades. Giggles slip out unexpectedly.
He stops. The notebook is already full of incoherent rambling. He turns to porn instead. Porn is a conspiracy by the Jews to control the world—he thinks. He masturbates excessively. The visions collapse into a closed loop of self-referential mythology.
The storm Elia summoned starts to turn on him. Without sleep, the ascent devolves into an uncontrollable downward spiral.
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“Now I am become Death, the destroyer of worlds.”
—Bhagavad Gita
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The fire does not crown him. It destroys him. There is no revelation at the summit, only a ceiling that refuses to open. The gods stop answering. What remains are shadows mistaken for messages.
Jung was right: the psychotic drowns in the same waters the mystic swims in with delight. The mystic returns. The psychotic does not.
The mind reaches for infinity and comes back empty-handed. Elia is escorted out of his mythology by nurses and doctors, not angels.
Symbols turn predatory. Meaning devours itself. The Dark Lord did arrive—as insanity.
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Patient record:
Patient brought by ambulance to Central Hospital emergency department. Psychopathological symptoms include escalating grandiosity, incoherence, and fragmentation of thought.
Emergency physician notes overt psychotic mania. Patient declared himself God. Involuntary admission ordered.
On a ward: extreme agitation, aggression, and verbal threats. Isolated in a secure room. Sedation initiated.
Threats escalate. Patient states intent to kill himself, the attending psychiatrist, and the nursing staff. Repeated attempts to breach the secure door. Self-injurious behavior.
Auditory hallucinations intensify. Affect disintegrates—sobbing → laughter → sobbing.
Credible homicidal and suicidal ideation. Immediate danger to self and others.
Lobotomy performed 14.8.2024
Eemu Julius 